Brandon Smith, Giving Smith's a Bad Name

Watchers of the Waste, "Smith" is a very common name and often has a bad reputation as being a fake name given to hotel desk clerks. Brandon Smith is our newest resident of the Wastes. Despite his apparent love for computers and being a bad guy he should not be mistaken for Agent Smith, from "The Matrix." To Clarify...

Agent Smith (left)= Kick ass bad guy/ Brandon Smith= Pathetic waste of humanity/ Will Smith= Completely Unrelated

Now that we are familiar with the different Smiths, lets focus on Brandon. As I said, he loves computers and loves being a bad guy. So, combining both loves he decided to rip off someone's iPad and ended up ripping off far more than the latest apple product. Smith,20, had tried to steal an iPad from 59 year old Bill Jordan. The problem was the iPad was in a bag, the string from the bag was wrapped around Jordan's left pinky finger and was badly mangled and part of it had to be amputated. This led to Brandon Smith to have third-degree assault added to a robbery charge. Mr. Brandon Smith has a history with the police, as his arrest report shows. He was out committing more robberies, all while on parole. In one, he kicked a man in the face and broke the victim's jaw.

But Wait.. there's more...
Denver police intercepted a letter from Mr. Smith to someone on the outside. Here are some of the snippets from his letter.

“You get this done!and I go on anything I’ll rob a bank if you want me too. Just do this for your boy and I got you for sure. You know how we do it,” Smith wrote.  “That’s the address, so handle it A.S.A.P.”  “I really need this otherwise it’s a wrap!! If you do this, case is dropped.”

I suppose he may have forgotten about the video's, still frames, and eye witnesses. So he moved from thug to stupid fuck.

But WAIT!!! There's more!!!

Mr. Smith did offer out an apology to the victim.

"I was really bad on drugs. I was taking heroine and speed," Smith said.
"I'm sorry for whatever, and for him losing his finger. That's awful from just a theft. That's a bad theft gone wrong, you know what I'm saying."

Not only is Mr. Smith a pathetic thief, he earns his Waste of Humanity title with every headline he makes while in jail. Even on a good day, will never be as cool as Agent Smith and there will never be a Brandon Smith Action Figure. This is kind of tragic, since even Will Smith has one.

Hester the Molester

The world is full of sick bastards and John K. Hester is one of them. Please welcome the newest recruit to the Wastes, 47 year-old, from San Tan Valley, Arizona. He was arrested for kissing young girls and lifting their shirts. Normally I am cautious about calling anyone a molester, it is one of the single most vile crimes I can think of. However, the "Neighborhood Grandpa" was feeling pervy with two sisters aged 8 and 5.

The victims told detectives that Hester had put his tongue in their mouths, lifted up their shirts, and kissed their stomachs. The victims were at Hester's residence, playing with his grandchildren. Again... normally I am reluctant to blast someone as a molester... but this sick son-of-a-bitch admitted it.

“I kissed the girls on the lips, and they must have ran back and told their dad, I messed up, I should not have kissed them.”

Sick ...

He gets 4 out of 5 bars of soap... hopefully he will drop them all several times. That way his cell mate can help him get in touch with his feminine side.

When A Princess Attacks

Cinderella is a beautiful Disney character, featured in movies and even has children songs. Who can forget the classic..



Cinderella, dressed in yella, went downstairs to kiss a fella. Made a mistake and almost hacked off some chicks arm, with a hatchet and narrowly missing her month old child, while trying to rip off a purse... How many charges will she face?...




Yeah, that's right. The years have not been good to poor Cinder... In fact, you could say she no longer resembles that darling princess...

Meet Cinderella Lavine, 31, of Gulfport Florida and Waste of Humanity feature of today. Cinderella, with a six year old daughter in tow, attacked a woman after exiting a Pinellas Suncoast Transit Authority bus. Not just attacked, but attacked with a hatchet, according to the St. Petersburg Times. 

The hatchet wielding hag struck the victim, a mother holding an infant, on the shoulder. Cinderella barely missed the woman's infant before trying to snag the victim's purse. That's right she attacked a woman, holding an infant, with her own six year old daughter present, with many witnesses to steal a purse (Arrest Report).

She was apprehended, after fleeing the scene. She was searched and they found the hatchet, two steak knives, a clawed hammer and a glass slipper. She claimed these items were for self defense. After her arrest she was able to slip out of the handcuffs and tried to escape from the back of the cruiser. Apparently there was no prince charming to whisk her away, because she was quickly re-handcuffed.

Because she is not just a psycho, but tried to kill her victim, almost struck an infant and she had her own daughter with her, Cinderella has been rated 3 out of 5 psycho mouse ears.

David Ochoa Delgado: Burning Up the Wasteland

Alright, my little wanders of the Wastes it is time to bring up another piece of shit that I have absolutely no use for.
Meet David Ochoa Delgado of Austin, Texas:

Delgado is not a unique person. He is really nothing more than an arsonist and that is hardly worthy of being a waste of humanity. It is not the crime of arson that places him here, but this numb-nut's stupidity and his victim.

This 18 year old was throwing a party at his Silverdale apartment, on a Friday night. There were several complaints called in, due to the noise. An elderly woman had called in complaints about the loud music. Now I was a teenager before, but I always valued having a roof over my head enough to try to keep my neighbors happy.

Mr. David "The Match" Delgado, was witnessed by two residents walking over to the elderly woman's apartment, just after the party let out. 10 minutes later the witnesses saw David "The Pant-Load" Delgado walking away, with the elderly woman's cries of "Help me." not far behind.

This shit lit the woman's apartment door on fire, apparently because he had to. According to his Facebook page he, "“Had an awesome time. Did what I had to do. Old people nag ha, ha.” That's right, tard bragged about it on a social networking site.

Not that he cared, he fessed up to police without any concern. Too bad it wasn't followed by a post from a police officer, "Had an awesome time. Did what I had to do. Shoved a nightstick up some punks ass. ha ha.. good times."

Delgado was arrested and charged with arson, a first-degree felony. He’s being held on a $15,000 bond. I think this is a slap on the wrist, since his victim was elderly, he endangered the lives and property of all other tenants (including children) and is just a first rate ass-clown.

Polk County Pedophile Round Up

I have lived in Florida for over 14 years now and I have realized, there are a lot of sick people in this state. This is going to be a long post, my watchers of wasted humanity, but it is well worth it. Polk County conducted a four day long sting operation that targeted people seeking sex from kids. It is like a low budget “To Catch A Predator” without the humor of Chris Hanson. Four days resulted in the arrest of fifteen men, between the ages of 18 – 67.

They all had one thing in common, responding to a Craig’s List add and showing up to a sting house where they thought they would have sex with a girl 8 – 14 years of age. Here is a list of the pervs and a little bit about them. Remember, these charming men are innocent until proven guilty, but I still would not recommend hiring them as a baby-sitter.

Brandon “Bosco” Cashen
Age: 31 
Charges: 2 counts Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2), 1 count Use of a Computer to Seduce a Child (F-3), and 1 count Attempted Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3).

Brandon was a bit of a hero before showing up to have sex with a woman and her 8-year-old daughter. He was a man who rescued two men from a small airplane that crashed into power lines at the Dubsdread Golf Course. Instead, Bosco is facing He also faces an irate Mrs. Cashen who stated, “he can rot in hell before I bond him out of jail.”


Kevin Scott
Age: 35

Charges: 1 count Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2), 1 count Possession of Alprazolam (F-3).

Kevin thought he was going to have sex with a 14-year-old girl. He planned ahead and threw a couple condoms in his pocket, for when the moment was right. He may find that the moment will not be coming soon, according to Mrs. Scott, “I never want to see him again, I never want him to see our children again. I hope he stays in prison forever and you do everything to him that the law allows.”

Joshua Adam Hunt
Age: 19

Employed by: PlanTeen Recreation Center / Student
Charges: 1 count Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3)

According to the charges Josh wanted to have sex with a woman in the presence of children. I am open minded to all sorts of kink, but that one has me scratching my head. What I did find disturbing was that he worked with people aged 8 through 20 as an assistant karate instructor. It is probably a good thing that Ninja boy is trained in self defense, since he is out on bond.

Jason Shulman
Age: 36
Charges: 1 count Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2).

Jason Was looking forward to a teenager threesome, with a woman and her 14 year-old niece. Before you just think of him as some sort of sick-o, he is old fashioned and wanted them to wear sundresses. Nothing is more wholesome than sundresses (with nothing underneath). Jason was a cautious man and does not feel it is wise to go to a strangers home. Instead he wanted to meet at a convenience store. Convenient enough for officers to find him and arrest him. There is still no word if the officers were wearing sundresses.

 Javier Alberto Diaz
Age: 23
Charges: 1 count Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2)

Javier, an employee of JetBlue Airline, showed up ready for action. He had condoms in his pocket and was ready for take off. Unfortunately, for him, the trip had been abruptly detoured and landed him in the Polk County Jail. His one way ticket, purchased for going to meet someone he thought was 14 years old for sex. Bad flight plan, Javier. Even Bosco can’t save you on this one.

Robert Ferguson
Age: 23
Charges: 1 count Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2)

Another condom-toting pervert, all ready and raring to get it on with a 13 year-old girl. I imagine that it must really be difficult to explain a few condoms in the pocket. Young, dumb and full of really bad ideas.

Tommy Dupre
Age: 33
Charges: 1 count Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2).

Talk about awkward, imagine opening the door expecting to see the 14 year-old girl you want to have sex with, instead it is a cop. More awkward still, imagine that the cop recognizes you as his child’s little league coach. Instead of getting a home run, this coach struck out. Thankfully he didn’t even make it to first base with a child.

Donald Knuckles
Age: 68
Charges: 2 counts Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2); 1 count Using Computer to Seduce a Child (F-3); 1 count Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3).

Donald had a dream, something that he sought after his entire life. In his own words, "This is what I've waited a lifetime for. The opportunity to have sex with a 14-year-old girl and her mother." But he is not just some random pervert, he wanted the real deal. He wanted an ongoing relationship with the mother and daughter, not just some one night stand. He is a true romantic who only wanted to see the mother/daughter pair in see through lingerie.

Dominick Overeem
Age: 51
Charges: 2 counts Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2); 1 count Using Computer to Seduce a Child (F-3); 1 count Attempted Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3); 1 count Assault With Deadly Weapon Without Intent to Kill (F-3).

Dominick seemed to have gotten stage fright. Perhaps it was performance anxiety. It happens sometimes. Apparently, Dominick was all worked up about having sex with a 14 year-old and their mother. He had sent e-mails and phone calls to set up the meeting, but when the undercover detective came out, as “Mom”, he sped away in his truck. As the charges show, he almost struck the officer as well. Next time… try Enzyte, just like Smiling Bob.

William Jackson
Age: 30
Charges: 2 counts Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2); 1 count Using Computer to Seduce a Child (F-3); 1 count Attempted Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3).

Willie spent some time, through email and phone calls, to set up a meeting with a 10 year-old girl. He showed up with candy bars as a reward for the girl’s sexual activity. He wanted to “deflower” the child (such a nice word for rape). I’m sure it is entrapment, since the “parent” told him to bring the candy bar… oh wait… no that’s showing intent. I’m sure someone in jail will play with his “fun-sized” Watchamacallit in prison.

Gregory Alan Archambault II
Age: 33
Charges: 1 count Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2)

Gregory, according to police statements, asked if he could shower with a 14 year-old girl. He had arranged to have sex with the girl as well. Now, before anyone says “That doesn’t mean he would have done anything.” He also shared with the nice undercover officer that when he was 16, he taught an 8-year-old girl how to have sex, and when he was 21, he taught a 12-year-old girl how to have sex. Perhaps these were through sex ed classes… but I doubt it. I’m sure there is some Bubba that is willing to educate him to the finer arts of prison lovin’.

Leon Brisson
Age: 44
Charges: 2 counts Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2); 1 count Using Computer to Seduce a Child (F-3); 1 count Attempted Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3).

Leon wanted to make sure that the mother and 14 year-old daughter duo was really going to be interested in him. So he took a graphic photo of himself and sent it to the undercover detectives. Leon is at least honest, he allegedly told detectives he was “here to have sex.” Well Leon, you are screwed.

Mark McClure
Age: 44
Charges: 2 counts Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2); 1 count Using Computer to Seduce a Child (F-3); 1 count Attempted Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3).

Mark is a party animal and he brought the party with him to the bust house. He was hoping for an all night fling with a 14 year-old girl and her mother. He even brought Vodka and Red Bull with him (whatever happened to wine and roses?) Party on Mark… Oh wait.. that’s right, you’re in jail.


 

Raymond Damon
Age: 43
Charges: 2 counts Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2); 1 count Using Computer to Seduce a Child (F-3); 1 count Attempted Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3); 1 count Resisting Arrest Without Violence (M-1).

According to police, Raymond was looking forward to a mother / daughter (13 year-old) three way action, requesting that the child wear hot pink lingerie (seriously? Hot Pink? Give me your man card). Raymond explained that he was there to hook up with the mother, not the child and stated if the “mom” pushed the child on him, he would leave. Tell yourself whatever you need to Raymond… just keep telling yourself that.







Robert Chan
Age: 38
Charges: 2 counts Traveling to Meet a Minor for Sex (F-2); 1 count Using Computer to Seduce a Child (F-3); 1 count Attempted Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition (F-3).

Robert is really just a man trying to reach out and educate children. He (allegedly) planned on teaching a 13 year-old girl how to perform sex acts. Of course, he was willing to sacrifice himself to make sure the child got the best education possible. He even brought a bag of skittles as a reward. What an idiot, doesn’t he know that it is green M&M’s that turn the girls on?

Big Boob Gets Busted

Ronald "Boobie" McIntyre.

Our first slime-bag is one Ronald “Boobie” McIntyre. Take a bow Boobie, you get our first post to kick off “Waste of Humanity”. 35 year old Boobie comes to us from the North Side of Chicago.

Now Boobie (I like that name.. did you have that nickname before you met a woman?), ran into some small debt problems. The debt problem was that he owed close to $6,000 dollars for back child support (lets be fair… it was $5,979.66). The Government tends to get a little grumpy when you decide not to support your own spawn, so a few of the fine officers from Chicago went to pay Mr. Boobie a visit.

A woman owning the apartment (please note it was on the third story) told the officers that Mr. Boobie was not there and even invited them in to search her home. An innocent little child had indicated for the police to look out the window. There, three stories below, lay Mr. Boobie.

Mr. Boobie apparently decided to do some sort of ninja/superhero/mentally-impaired kind of escape. He jumped from the window, planning on making a gazelle-like sprint to freedom. Instead, he found that the soft grass he landed on was covering a concrete slab. Far from gazelle-like, Mr. Boobie continued to try to escape by crawling along on broken legs.

The police were unable to get to the gimpy Boobie, because of a locked gate. It did not stop them as they simply handcuffed Boobie to the gate and waited for maintenance to unlock the gate. He was taken to the hospital to undergo treatment for compound fractures to both legs.

Mr. Boobie has 21 assault convictions, 39 obstruction of justice convictions, and 20 convictions of invasion of privacy, according to the sheriff's office. His recent run in with the police and his previous convictions have given him a prize spot on our list and a rating of 3.5 out of 5 crutches. He now has medical bills AND child support to pay.

The moral of this story:
“Even if you jump out the window to escape child support, Mother Nature will break your legs and you will still just be a boob.”