Vice Principle Blames a Virus for Pervy Messages

There are creepy people everywhere. Some of them give us a bad feeling when we pass by, while others make us wonder if humanity should go on (like Lindsay Lohan). There are others still that make our flesh crawl...

This Justin Bieber wanna be freak is the latest addition to the wastes. Not simply because of his hair, beady eyes, or pervy grin. When I see this picture, my brain cannot help escape thinking "Pedo"..

Meet Charles Hurst, the vice principal at Pennbrook Middle School in the North Penn School District in North Wales, Pa. Mr. Hurst had apparently taken interest in a teenage boy and is described by the teen's mother as a "Father Figure". Indeed Mr. Pedo Hust was a good friend to the boy. Hurst and the 13-year-old boy would spent many hours together and enjoy many adventures, including trips to the gym, skiing, 76ers games, provided him an allowance, and talks about masturbation.

Wait... What?

I know.. hard to believe that the gentleman on the left could be that creepy.. I mean look at that hair do.. and that grin... and... ewwww... He makes Michael Jackson seem masculine.

The teenager reported that their relationship started taking on an inappropriate nature when Mr. Hurst Creepy Pervert informed him how masturbation would make him feel "smarter and happy." Mr. Creepy should have also warned about blindness and unsightly palm hair as well.... just sayin'. His creepiness did not end there.

According to the teen, Mr. Charles "The Creep Master" Hurst would give him a dollar bonus on his allowance, if he told him about the times he masturbated. I know what all of you guys are thinking... "Where was he when we were teenagers, we would have been rich." He would also text the teen with such endearing comments as ...

"Remember ur week is run, [masturbate] and read in that order! Love you - goodnight!"
"No joke buddy. Those 3 things need to get done. Were u able to [masturbate] since u got back?"

Mr. Creepy Pervy had an explanation for such obscene text messages... his phone had a virus and sent those naughty messages... to that one child... It must have been the "Creepy-pedo-justin beiber" virus I have heard so much about. On the upside, Mr. Hurst was arrested and charged with  Endangering the Welfare of a Child, Corruption of Minors and Possession of Cocaine.

*Edit* Lady T had pointed out that he was even creepier than originally stated... (I know... how?)
"He also offered the teen money to masturbate and wanted to teach the teen's younger brother how to do it, the affidavit said."
Also, Hurst allegedly requested to see the victim's penis twice. Thanks Lady T... makes my skin crawl even more.
 

Grandma Nutter v.s. the Anti-Christ

We all have crazy relatives. You know the one that you don't want showing up for Thanksgiving? Yeah, that one. I remember my Great Uncle Dreadmuse used to strip nekkid and declare himself King of the Potato People.... but I digress....

Watchers of the Wastes, not everyone posted here are simply unfit for humanity, others are just completely effed in the head. Meet Grandma Clanton. Sandra Clanton is a 39 year old grandmother of an adorable 9 month old grandson.

 Grandma, Mom, and friend of the family were all together, with the little bundle of 9 month old joy. Seems like a fairly boring event. Well, Grandma went psycho on a biblical level. According to police Grandma set the child down next to the sink, then slammed his head on the counter and slashed his face with a butcher knife.


Luckily Mom and friend had time to bust Grandma Nutsy and get her away from the child. The police state that she tried to kill the child because it was the "Anti-Christ".... Yep, Grandma lost it on a biblical level. What ever happened to just pinching the baby's cheeks? The child is expected to make a full physical recovery... mentally could be a different story. It will make for some great stories around the holiday. " Hey Timmy, remember that time Grandma tried to kill you because you were the anti-christ?... yeah... good times... good times..."


On a more personal note, this woman was obviously psychotic... According to Mama Dreadmuse, I am the Anti-Christ. Damn 9 month old poser.... You can't usher in the Apocalypse while you are still wearing Huggies.

Captain Wiener Got an Eyefull

People that know me, know I am really an open minded person. I've been involved with groups where you really have to accept people or at least be polite and tolerant. Now that I've said that... These next two Wanderers of the Wastes may be changing my opinion on this.

Matthew Rayfield, 43, and Diane Orosz, 47, were busted, in the buff, having sex behind a vacant house in Pompano Beach, Florida. While this may seem private, the back of the house faced the Intracoastal Waterway. Their sexual stint in the sunshine was witnessed by many vessels that were passing by the, rather unfortunate, incident. Authorities were notified.

Enter Captain Wiener, (not like that you perverts) Captain Wiener of the Broward County Sheriff’s Office. According to the officer’s report, Rayfield was spotted with a “full penile erection” (hurray for Mr. Rayfield) and Orosz was “leaning over forward with her vagina exposed.” The couple said that they were “celebrating their anniversary.”

So why are these two here in the Wastes? Because I got to say Captain Wiener, vagina, and penile erection all in one story. That and… lets face it… there are some things you just DON’T want to see when you are out on your boat.

The thought of these two playing 'hide the salami'  in the back yard may kill the sex drive of many Watchers of the Wastes. Dreadmuse assumes no responsibility for loss of affection, erection, or lunch.

Weed, not for the Faint of Heart

Ok, here is a great story about the "Wasted" of the Wastes. In Helena, Montana, a teen was looking to score a little weed, smoke, mary-j, wacky-weed, screw it... He wanted to buy some pot. Now I'm pretty open minded and ordinarily, a pot buy would not get someone listed as a resident of the Wastes. This moron sent the following text message "Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now?" Unfortunately, it did not reach the intended dealer, it went to Leo Dutton. Leo is a very fitting name for this Law Enforcement Officer of Lewis and Clark county.

The obliging sheriff went ahead and set up the deal at a store where the teen and his friend said they would be. The boys (ages 15 and 16) did indeed show, eager to get their 'mellow' on. One even had his father, who had no idea of the deal the boys made. The sheriff knew he had the right bong toking boys, after calling the boy's phone number three times.

It is not just that these boys accidentally made a dope deal with a cop or that the cop was named Leo (Though the irony is killing me) that placed them here. It was the bust. *Que "Cops" theme song* As the detective showed the boys his badge, one of them fainted.

No citations issued, it seems the parents are more than willing to "handle" this privately.